I Might Not Be Cut Out for the Truth

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
(Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Two weeks ago, I finished reading Chapter 2 in Martha Beck's The Joy Diet. The mission seemed simple enough—continue to develop a relationship with nothing while incorporating one moment of truth each day.

Beck's words are inspiring and relentlessly truthful. When I completed the chapter, I felt as though I was ready to embrace the truth—ready to uncover secrets and grow from my discoveries.

Shortly after these feelings of I-can-conquer-the-world-ness, reality smacked me in the face in the form of to-do lists, appointments and special projects. Then the excuses came and I let them defeat me.

Maybe the excuses are right, maybe I don't have time for the truth.

I find it a bit depressing and otherwise hilarious that I am struggling so much with this Joy Diet journey. My nothing was far from perfect, I avoided the truth and I have put desire on the back burner. Beck is right when she says that, “living behind a pane of glass, numbing and empty though it is, also feels safe.”

As I think about how I want the rest of this journey to unfold, I am faced with a challenge—do I want to continue hiding behind a pane of glass or do I want to trust there is another step below the one I am standing on?