My Second HypnoBirthing: Fast, Natural, and Calm Birth Story

Sep 5

As I write this, my daughter is three years old. Tomorrow, I’ll be 39 weeks pregnant with our third baby. My intention was always to write her birth story, but I put it off for one reason or another. Now I'm here, sharing before giving birth again.

Perhaps this is indicative of her being my second born and the middle child. Maybe it's that life gets busy with two babies in two years (and then add a global pandemic to the mix). The reason doesn't matter. I'm ready to write the details and morsels that have stayed through the chaos of these past three years.

Certain stories need to be documented immediately. Others want to stew and marinate until it's time for the words to spill out. I suppose I've always known this story was the second kind, otherwise I would've made it a priority sooner. Now is the right time. With her younger sibling hiccuping in my belly, I am here to share Merritt's birth story.

But first, her name story.

The pregnancy was smooth and gentle. Something I was especially thankful for with a toddler to chase around. It was so easy that I remember wondering when I would be pregnant again. I’d think to myself, "When will we have our third baby?" and then immediately feel guilty for not focusing on the one who was squirming around inside me.

Choosing the name might not be part of other people's birth stories, but it's key part of how our girl came into the world. We decided not to find out the gender, so we needed to select a first and middle name for each gender.

The boy name wasn't too hard. We liked the way the first name sounded with our older son's name and the middle was from my side of the family. Simple, timeless. When it came to picking the girl's name, my husband and I had work to do. I wanted a name that felt strong and unique, he wanted something that wasn't too trendy or unique.

After much back and forth, we agreed on Merritt. While watching the 2018 Winter Olympics, there was a female competitor named Merritt. Then we saw something with the actress Merritt Weaver in it. My go-to coffee shop at the time was a cute place with good vibes named Merit. Even the definition of merit, "the quality of being particularly good or worthy" felt like something to hold onto. We selected Olivia as the middle, a name we both adored that added a touch of femininity.

Hypnobirthing for my second birth

Since I had my son less than two years before, I felt way more comfortable with pregnancy and birth than the first time. I also learned a lot postpartum that helped me prepare for my second. I had an idea of what to expect and was ready to flow with whatever unfolded.

It's relevant to note, my son's birth was intense and fast. The short version is that he was born 28 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. You can read the whole story here: Our Surprisingly Quick HypnoBirth at the Hospital.

The same as my first, my intention was to have an unmedicated (what some call natural) birth, with little or no interventions at the hospital. HypnoBirthing worked for me before, so I took a similar approach this time. I listened to their guided meditations every night, practiced the breathing techniques, and had affirmations for gentle and easy birthing.

After months of practicing prenatal yoga and seeing supportive healers like my acupuncturist, chiropractor, and massage therapist, my baby and body were ready.

The longest days ever: waiting for labor

My husband's mom came on a one-way flight from Ohio. The countdown to baby began. This was uncharted territory and I didn’t have the easiest time with it.

I wanted to soak up the last moments with our son before becoming a family of four. I also wanted to share him with his grandma who doesn't see him often. Conflicted and irritable, I didn’t want to wish the time away and I was ready for newborn snuggles. My due date approached and then slipped by. The days dragged on.

On a Wednesday morning, I took my very pregnant self to another favorite coffee shop for a date with my laptop. I was texting with my grandma who I'm certain was eager for baby news. But we ended up chatting about her two grandmothers instead.

I knew both her maternal and paternal grandmothers went by Emma, and that one's given name was Amelia, but I didn't know the other's name. My grandma said the other was named Alena and that she was her favorite of the two. I had never heard the name Alena and immediately looked it up. "Bright, shining light" popped up on my illuminated screen. Everything stood still. Tears rushed to my eyes.

I texted my husband without context. "If this baby is a girl, her middle name has to be Alena, not Olivia." He responded, "Okay honey, but we need to talk about it. The baby is coming any day now?"

That night we went to dinner at Grizzeldas, a cute, very pink, Mexican restaurant. I told him what happened that morning. How everything in the world stopped and I started crying in the middle of the coffee shop. I asked if we could change the baby's middle name and he agreed.

That was Wednesday evening. Two nights later, she was born. She was waiting for us to find her name.

My water broke, we had pizza for dinner

At noon on Friday, my water broke. It was a trickle, not a gush, but I was certain that's what was going on. I texted Adam to come home from work and I hopped in the shower. I felt calm and excited. My water didn't break last time, so this was new. It was nice to know baby was on the way.

Around 4pm, I snuggled with Owen as he watched a show. To keep dinner easy, we ordered pizza. My labor was gentle enough that we were able to go through Owen's whole bedtime routine. Then at 8pm, once he was tucked in, my body started to capture my attention.

This is where my memory gets fuzzy. As the contractions (or surges as they're called in HypnoBirthing) became more intense, I went deeper and deeper into a calm, meditative state. I was listening to one of the guided tracks, called Rainbow Relaxation, over and over again.

I recall finding comfort in leaning against the counter in our bathroom. Upright, feet out in a semi squat, my head propped up on my arms. The floor was cool on my feet, the lights dimmed. I have no clue how long I stayed that way, but it's the vision that has remained with me from laboring at home.

A few hours passed. At 10 or 10:30pm, I told my Adam we should head to the hospital.

I don't time my contractions, but Adam keeps an eye on them. At this point, I was managing the surges with focused breath. To him, it seemed like I was doing okay because he said, "Are you sure?"

Yes. Time to go. We headed downstairs. Loaded up the car.

A second hospital hypnobirth, with a surprising coincidence

Our drive to the hospital is very short, only 1.5 miles or 5 minutes away. There are a few lights and speed bumps. It was dark and quiet out. I played Woman (Oh Mama) by Joy Williams, such a powerful song if you haven't heard it. I was still pretty calm, but sitting was not comfortable!

We pulled up to the South Entrance of the hospital and got out. Maneuvering in and out of the car felt like a feat. Then, the automatic doors would not open.

I had to get back into the car, which at the time was the worst news ever. I asked Adam if I could walk to the Emergency Room entrance, but he didn't think it was a good idea. I climbed back in the car for the shortest ride around the corner, then rolled my birthing body out onto the sidewalk once more.

During my first birth, the front desk attendant at the ER took forever to track down a wheelchair, which I definitely did not want. No more sitting, please. This time we knew where to go. We walked around the desk, heads down, heading straight to the elevators to Labor & Delivery.

I handed my wallet and paperwork to the woman at the front desk. Someone took me back to triage. I was listening to Rainbow Relaxation on my phone and took the position that felt most comfortable to me... feet out in a gentle squat, leaning against the bed, head propped on my arms.

Breath calm and slow, attention and focus inward. My cervix was 7cm dilated, a tiny triumph. (I was 10cm when we arrived with my first birth. I was hoping to not cut things so close this time.)

Sensing this birth would be quick, Adam whispered to the triage nurses that my last birth was very fast. He knew we needed to get to the room ASAP. Someone told me it was time to walk again. I grabbed my phone and followed.

Still listening to Rainbow Relaxation, there were a lot more people in the birthing room. I assumed my favorite position once more, along the foot of the bed, head propped up on my arms, feet out in a soft squat. A nurse asked if she could put an IV in my arm. "Fine, as long as you can do it with me standing here like this." She said that I'd have to stay still. "Not a problem." I was in the zone. An IV wasn't going to bother me.

I heard someone say to get the doctor in here. The next few moments were fast and filled with surprise. With the next contraction, there was a whooshing sound and a gush of liquid. Adam jumped a foot backwards in surprise. I felt a big release. The baby's head was born.

Thankfully, the doctor was right behind me. Next, our baby's sweet and slippery body was born. I was still standing next to the bed, so I bent down a bit more and the doctor handed her to me through my legs.

The baby and I were both so messy, wet, and warm. Someone took her to the other side of the room to check, clean, and weigh her. Someone else helped me up into the bed to deliver the placenta. That's when I looked over at Adam who still had a funny look of shock and surprise fixed on his face.

The baby cried loud and strong, our girl Merritt Alena. 7 lbs 13 oz. Born at 11:23pm, less than 12 hours after my water broke. 28 minutes after we arrived at the hospital, just like her big brother.